Ponder. What's that?

When I read Luke 2:19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. Ponder jumps out at me, what does it mean? According to Websters Dictionary ponder means to give serious and careful thought to. Mary was told that God  chose her to give birth to the Messiah. The people could have put her and Joseph to death. Why didn't she feel like a victim?  Instead she stopped to give careful thought to all she had heard.

I hate to admit that I've never been accused of pondering. I have been a first reactor not a first responder. As a new believer I was excited to live a new life. I thought that all of my old feelings of being a victim would just go away. Unfortunately they brought an unwelcomed double whammy.  I would react poorly to people that I felt were treating me unfairly, then feel guilty for my actions. I prayed to ponder before morphing into Quick Draw McGraw at the drop of a hat.

I can still see the poor ladies face eyes filled with tears, she didn't mean to skip over me in line. That didn't stop me from blasting her with my words and ugly attitude. And I called myself a Christian. That was my turning point. How many emotional casualties had I caused with my ugliness? God please help me to change. How did Mary know how to ponder? Who taught her? I need a teacher. How do I confess to someone that I have an ugly heart and that I treat people so horrible?

God heard my prayers. He blessed me with Spiritual parents. Aunt Cookie and Papa John a beautiful couple in their sixties, that had fostered over two hundred children.  One afternoon she called to check on us, I started balling my eyes out. “ I am so ugly.” “You stop that, your not ugly.” She was doing her best to comfort me. Only now I was out of control “My heart is ugly”. “Oh, you have a bad attitude.” She replied with a little chuckle. I couldn't believe my ears and almost hung-up. Then like a friend telling you her secret ingredient in her recipe, she said" you know how to get your heart right?" “No” I replied.

“You treat everyone like you would treat Jesus, read John 13:34, you'll be alright.”

There it was A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you. Jesus knew I would have a heart issue, that only His love could fix.

I took baby steps, I started with counting to ten before I responded. I would still be upset, but soon Quick Draw McGraw retired.

When situations don't go your way do you find yourself reacting or responding? Let LOVE abound.